Filming The Sorcerer's Stone
by Elijah Wood's Babe
Summary: We've seen the movies. But what you haven't seen, is how the scenes where they messed up! Please RR and if you want to throw in flames, I'll take them. COMPLETED!
1. Author's Note

Okay people, these stories are going to be about the movies, and about the filming.   
  
I'm going to have from the Sorcerer's stone to the Goblet of Fire, and I will not get   
  
The Order of the Phoenix out until January 21. Why? Because I don't want to spoil it   
  
for others.   
  
This was an author's note sponsored by: Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. 


	2. Scene One: The Train Ride

Filming The Sorcerer's Stone.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't owe any of this, except the plot. So back off!  
  
Scene 1:  
  
Chris C: Action!  
  
Hermione: Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good.   
  
Ron: What do you mean? It came out good!   
  
Hermione: That's not your line, it isn't even in the book!  
  
Harry: *Falls down*  
  
Hermione & Ron: *Look down at him*  
  
Ron: Um..Harry, you aren't supposed to do that until the third film.  
  
Harry: *Stands up* I knew that.  
  
Quirrel: *runs into scene being chased by snowballs* AHHHH!  
  
All: Professor watch out for that-........  
  
Quirrel: *bumps into wall*  
  
Harry: Ouch.  
  
Dumbledore: *singing to Good Charlotte song* Ron don't want Dray, all he wants is money!  
  
Ron: Hey, I am NOT gay! Ohh, I love that color! *points to Lavander's pink shirt*  
  
Chris: Oohh! Look a penny! *bends to pick it up. Pants split and polka doted boxers show*  
  
Snape: *laughs in an evil way* MUHAHAHA! I charmed the penny to bring you bad luck!  
  
JKR: Um.....magic isn't real.  
  
Snape: * cries* Do you have to destroy my dreams? *stomps out wailing*  
  
JKR: Party anyone?  
  
All: Um......no.  
  
Hagrid: Look at the things these muggles dream up. A train called Howarts Express. Crazy.  
  
Draco: *smirks* This is operated by magic.  
  
Witch with snack trolley: No, it isn't since I'm the driver.  
  
Hermione: If you are the conductor.....  
  
Harry: Then who is driving the train.  
  
All: *Look at each other* AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
The End of Scene One.  
  
Did you like? I hope you did, please review. I will make other stories like this, tell me if it isn't funny enough.   
  
I will be glad to do something about it. This story is dedicated to the following authors who have   
  
great stories:  
  
G*Ness Faith and Grace  
  
Kravenclaw despondent-faerie  
  
MelissaAdams ExtremeBlueFaerie  
  
Shade of Pink AngelBaby07  
  
Poonani  
  
WolfCrier  
  
starlitestarbrite2  
  
George-and-Mione 


	3. Scene Two: Quidditch Rules?

Filming Sorcerer's Stone  
  
Disclaimer: I can only do one thing: Grrrrr..........  
  
Scene 2  
  
Chris: Action!  
  
Oliver: Quidditch is easy enough to understand.  
  
Harry: * sings in squeaky voice * I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world!  
  
Chris: * dances into scene * I love that song!  
  
Snape: Alright, who gave Chris chocolate frogs?  
  
Hermione: Don't be silly Snape.  
  
Snape: Granger! 700 points from Gryffindor! Why can't I feel the power!?  
  
Oliver: I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle here is my....... * blinks *  
  
Hagrid: * cries * why did you stop?  
  
Oliver: I...can't remember the words.  
  
Mcgonagall: * turns into cat * Meow.  
  
Crookshanks: * notices Mcgonagall, eyes widen. * Purrrrr....  
  
Lupin: What's that crazy cat doing here?  
  
Sirius: Hey! You aren't supposed to be here!  
  
Lupin: Neither are you!  
  
Sirius: Good point.  
  
Mcgonagall: * Transforms back into herself and runs * Help!  
  
Crookshanks : * runs after her*  
  
Ron: * stands there staring at nothing* Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........................  
  
Draco: La la la la la la la lu lu Tada!  
  
Chris: Cut!  
  
That was chapter two, or scene two. Sorry it was short, but it's late and I'm tired. Please don't copy my idea of creating film fics. 3 People have already done it. It took me a long time to think about this, so please don't.  
  
Love Hania. 


	4. Scene 3: We Meet Doggy Dogg

Filming The Sorcerer's Stone.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't owe this, except the plot, and the idea of film fics.  
  
So....um.......hope you like this chapter. Please leave a review.  
  
Scene 3: We meet 3 headed Doggy Dogg.  
  
Chris: Annddddd...... ACTION!  
  
Ron: That's it, we're done for.  
  
Hermione: * pushes Ron * Oh move over! Alohomora! * door opens *  
  
Harry: * blinks in amazement *  
  
Hermione: Get in.  
  
Ron: It wasn't locked!  
  
Hermione: * rolls her eyes * It was locked  
  
Harry: * stares in front of him with fear * And for a good reason.  
  
Snoop Dogg: Wait just a minizzle, why are you trying to get in?  
  
Snape: * screams like a little girl * Oh. My. Gosh! I want an autograph!!!!  
  
Chris: La Cucaracha! La Cucaracha! Enchilada Blah Blah Blah!  
  
Hermione: * Stares at Chris * Mr. Columbus?   
  
Neville: Yo quiero Taco bell.  
  
Chihuahua from Taco Bell: Hey gringo, that was my line!  
  
Harry: Um........  
  
JKR: This just keeps getting weirder and weirder.  
  
Dumbledore: * eats gummy bear * My love for Lemon Drops is gone. I love gummy bears!  
  
Mcgonagall: * comes in desperatly into the room * It's snowing!  
  
All: * Look at her with a puzzled look *  
  
Ron: So?  
  
Mcgonagall: I wanted to feel important! Don't take that away from me!  
  
Chris: Vule vucushe a le mua. Se suah. All Right!!! Moulin Rouge!  
  
Harry: * snaps fingers in front of Chris's face to bring him back to normal *  
  
Chris: * blinks *   
  
Harry: I hope it worked.   
  
Chris: Cut!!  
  
I hope you like, that was scene 3. Hehe  
  
Special thanks to,  
  
Katarina Phillippe: You rock, thnx for being the first reviewer!   
  
tawnyfawn: I'm keepin it. Hehe. Thnx for the review! 


	5. The Battle Against VoldiePoo

Filiming The Sorcerer's Stone.  
  
Disclaimer: Uhhhhh....what am I supposed to say here?  
  
Scene 4: The Battle Against Voldie-poo.  
  
Chris: Action!  
  
Harry: Professor Quirrel?  
  
Quirrel: * turns around *  
  
Harry: N-no, it can't be you.  
  
Snape: Well Potter, isn't obvious it is him?  
  
Chris: * Runs into scene, and sees Crookshanks following him *  
  
Crookshanks: Meowww.....  
  
Everyone: * Stare at Chris and Crookshanks *  
  
Chris: WILL SOMEONE GET THIS BLODDY CAT TO STOP CHASING ME!?  
  
Crookshanks: * Keeps following Chris everywhere he goes *  
  
Harry: Does anyone have popcorn!?  
  
Chris: * Hides behind Hagrid, for a moment, crookshanks can't find him. *  
  
Ron: Um....shouldn't we getting back to filming?  
  
Mcgonagall: Oops! I did it again...........  
  
Hermione: Great, now all we need is for Dumbledore to do or say something stupid.  
  
Dumbledore: Everybody grab a partner and square dance!!!  
  
Hermione: I had to talk.  
  
Snape: * Grabs Professor Flitwick *  
  
Voldemort: * Comes out of Quirrel's head, no one notices *  
  
Quirrel: * Whipers * Master, where is the stone? We have a chance of stealing it now.  
  
Voldemort: I don't know, it is your job to find it!  
  
Quirrel: * menacingly * Don't make me go and square dance.  
  
Hermione: Okay....I'm getting dizzy. * Throws up on Hagrid * Sorry Hagrid  
  
Sirius: Moony, care for a dance?  
  
Lupin: I'd be delighted Padfoot old friend.  
  
Both: * Start to square dance *  
  
Voldie-Poo: * Just stares at everyone in disbelief. Grabs Chris when he goes by *  
  
Chris: Heey! I was dancing! Why'd you pull me away?  
  
Voldie-Poo: End it now!!!!!!!!  
  
Chris: * Fear in his voice * Cut!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hey, me here. Hehe. So um...hope you like this chapter, a weird and dull one, but then again I am sick.  
  
So...um....here are the thank you note thingies for those of you who were kind enought to review:  
  
Junior: Allie thnx for reviewing. I really appreciate it girl!  
  
Melissa: Hey Missy Pissy! Hehe, thnx for reviewing....3 times! I'll be sure to check out Dark Despair!  
  
And yes, you're right, they are kind of like bloopers, but not exactly.  
  
Nadz: Thnx for trying to correct me, but that is the point, Chris is messing up the words. Tnx for your review,   
  
I'm glad you liked it.  
  
(A/N) Thnx for everyone who reviewed, there is only one more chapter for this.....story.  
  
Laterz! 


	6. The Awarding of the House Cup

Filming The Sorcerer's Stone.  
  
Hey! thanx to everyone who were kind enough to review my story. I really  
  
appreciate it.  
  
Disclaimer: People please! If I were JK Rowling I wouldn't be sitting here writing fanfiction!  
  
Scene 5: Awarding the House Cup.  
  
Chris: Annnddd..... ACTION!  
  
Dumbledore: Well done Slytherin!  
  
Harry: Hey! That isn't fair! We were suppose to win!  
  
Snape: *smirks* Potter! 50 points from Gryffindor, and sit down.  
  
Harry: *turns to look at giant hourglass, 50 points are awarded to Gryffindor*  
  
Snape: W-what? 100 points from Gryffindor!!!  
  
Hermione: *looks at hourglass, 100 points are awarded to Gryffindor* Haha!  
  
Snape: 1000 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!  
  
Ron: *looks at hourglass and sees 1000 points awarded to Gryffindor* Hahahahaha!  
  
Snape: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!   
  
All: *start laughing*  
  
Snape: *jerks awake*   
  
Dumbledore: However, recent events must be taken to account.  
  
Harry, Ron & Hermione: *Gasp*  
  
Dumbledore: *awards points* And so Gryffindor wins!  
  
Snape: NOOOO!!!!  
  
Chris: *walks in to scene* Aawww. Now let's dance! *Starts doing the Cha-Cha*  
  
Voldemort: *Appears out of nowhere* Muhahaha!!!  
  
Chris: Got me looking so crazy in love your love's got me looking so crazy in love!  
  
Harry: Umm.....I think you messed up the song.  
  
Hermione: How would you know that?  
  
Harry: Um...Look Chris is dancing.............Again.  
  
Chris: *Imitating Michael Jackson* Hoooooooo!!! *Does Moonwalk*  
  
Ron: Okay. Who keeps feeding Chris Chocolate Frogs!?  
  
Voldemort: *Hides bag of Frogs behind him. Then whistles innocently.*  
  
JKR: Ok, Chris, snap out of it.  
  
All: Start dancing and they start a party.  
  
Chris: CUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hey everyone, did you like, that was the last chapter. okay, so I'm going to start writing a new one before I start writing Filming The Chamber of Secrets. It will be titled 'House Rivalry' It will be about Miranda Malfoy, Draco's cousin coming to Howarts and not wanting to be a Slytherin. I'd better not give it away. So you'll have to read to find out. The first chapter will come out Wednesday, January, 14. So please check it out. Laterz! 


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